Thanks for sharing, Malia.
Images shared from Malia Garcia
Dear Mom Friends,
I have something very important to tell you and I want you to know that as I write this I am in pajamas, have not showered, braless, teeth not brushed, hair gloriously matted, and it is 8:00 p.m.
I have spent the entire day like this and unfortunately I even left the house to water my parents’ lawn, without shoes to top it off and my beautiful daughter in the car seat in just her diaper. It was a quick trip so I told myself it didn’t matter. But you, you matter.
I just felt my blood boil because the dog wanted to go outside to pee. That seems like such a simple request to grant, but after a day of feeling like I was tugged on, demanded of, and beat, the last thing I want to do is tend to my full-bladder dog. LEAVE ME ALONE, I want to shout, and then immediately chastise myself for my short-temper and unloving reaction all whilst digging a hole to hide in where no-one ever sees this side of me; because although I feel totally exhausted I also feel as though I didn’t do enough today. But you know what, you, you are enough.
I look up from my computer and am reminded of all that is left undone. An open can of Pineapple Tidbits that I turned into a snack today after checking the expiration date, dirty pots and pans from the dinner my daughter decided she was less than impressed with, chairs moved onto the rug from when I thought I would mop, toys strewn across the floor . . . my house is as disheveled as I feel. But you, you are beautiful.
My day felt long and my confessions from the day feel even more burdensome. Am I a horrible Mom? I shouldn’t have been so impatient. Why was I so distracted with my phone? I should have come up with a craft to do or taken her outside to play. Why do I feel tired when I didn’t even get myself dressed today? If people knew this about me, knew how my day went and what was in my heart, if only for a fleeting moment, they would judge me, they would think the worst, and they would say what I fear to be true, “you are failing”. But you, you dear Mom, are a success.
I have time to write this to you because I just put my biggest blessing and love of my life to bed. I was imperfect toward her today, but she didn’t seem to notice. She called me Mom and danced with me in the kitchen this morning, we danced around the toys on the floor. She fed me her dinner that she didn’t like and chose to share, where did she learn that? She smiled at me when I turned on the cartoon that I wanted to use for a moment of peace and sat in my lap, happy. And at bedtime, when I was thinking about how I would use an evening to myself, she broke my thoughts with a spontaneous kiss right on the pucker.
Those moments, those moments are what actually happened today. Those moments are what matter. Those moments are enough. Those beautiful, small moments, add up to big success that just allowed me to let the dog in and out of the house three times in a row without a second thought.
So Mom friends, in raw honesty I want you to know that you matter. You, and all you are doing, are enough. You are beautiful, and you are a success.