All photos from Haley Scribner
1. How long have you been a SAHM?
In 2011 we moved up Maine to Patten and I started staying home with Jasmine then. We moved
up in May that year, and she was home with me all summer. When school came around Chad
and I talked about me finding a job but in Patten there isn’t really much for work. We ended up
making the choice a year later that it was a good time for us to have another child, and I plan on
being a stay at home mother until our youngest goes to school full time.
2. How many children and what are their ages?
Jasmine, our oldest, just turned seven in September.
Addison, our youngest, just turned one in October.
3. What is a typical day like for you?
Do Jasmine’s hair, pack her lunch and get her onto the bus.
Wake Addy up, have breakfast with her, play outside (if it’s nice out), have a snack, and take stuff
out for dinner.
Addy will go up for a nap and I’ll work on homework and try to get any house things done
(cleaning, laundry, shower, etc.)
Wake Addy up from her nap, we have lunch together, I finish up any house chores that I didn’t
get time for, get dinner all prepped and started cooking, play games with Addy and attempt to do
other homework if Addy can entertain herself at all.
Jasmine gets home from school.
Look through papers from school, unpack her backpack and do any homework she may have.
Jas hops into the shower and gets her pajamas on then heads down to set the table for dinner and
my husband usually gets home right at five, if not before.
Dinner and clean up from dinner.
After dinner we play with the girls, talk about all of our days, put a load of laundry into the
washer, bring in any wood from outside for the fireplace, etc.
The girls go to bed and it’s finally adult time which includes watching TV, Chad doing additional
work, ‘alone’ adult time, etc. Then, Chad and I are usually into bed by 10pm.
4. Why did you decide to stay at home?
My husband and I both made the choice when we decided to have Addy that since we never sent
Jasmine to day care, that we didn’t want to send Addy.
5. What is important to you when it comes to being a SAHM, what do you try to make sure
you do each day, what do you want your child to learn from this experience being home
The most important part of being a stay at home mom for me is that I’m parenting them all day long and that they are being constantly cared for and in an environment that I’m comfortable
with them being in. I also don’t have to miss any of their firsts, which just makes me feel good about my choice.
I try to teach them something new every single day, even if it’s something as
simple as teaching Addy how to wave ‘buh-bye’ or to hand me her ‘bubba’ when I go get her
from nap time. I also try to make sure that I do something fun with them, I don’t want them to be
stuck inside all day.
I hope that when they get older they realize that even though staying home wasn’t always easy, I never second guessed my choice because teaching them and giving them the absolute best of me, was and is always the most important thing to me.
6. What do you think most people do NOT understand about being a SAHM? What do you
think they think about your day that isn't true?
I think that people get the impression that being a stay at home mom is ‘easy’ and that it is a
luxury. Don’t get me wrong, staying home with my girls really is a dream come true, but it is
certainly not ever easy. I think that people think I just sit around all day watching tv but there are
very few days that I actually get the chance to sit down and relax.
7. What helps you to be a good SAHM?
I don’t usually like to be stuck in the house; so as a result, we are almost always out doing
something. This gives the girls the chance to experience new activities and places which is
something that they wouldn’t get the chance to do at a day care.
8. What is your advice to a mother thinking of being a SAHM? What tips would you
recommend for getting through the days?
My advice is to not let anyone make you feel like your job isn’t the absolute most important job. As a stay at home mom you are shaping your children’s lives and making them the people that
they are going to grow up to be… that’s a HUGE job!
My biggest piece of advice is to have a good support system, being a stay at home mom can feel isolating at times so being able to have other moms to talk to is so helpful.
9. What is the best part about being a SAHM?
Not having to miss anything that my girls do. I’m able to go into school in the middle of the day
and help out in the classroom, go on field trips, see their first steps, hear their first words, feed
them all of their (healthy) meals, etc.
10.What are the most challenging parts of being a SAHM?
Balancing being a mom, with being a person. Even on the rare occasions that I’m not with my
girls all I can think about is them and their needs and wants. I also rarely get any ‘me' time, I use
to read, go to concerts, go for a run, scrapbook, have marathon movie days, go out with friends,
and now I don’t have time for any of those things.
11. How and when do you find time to do full time school?! What is your goal after you earn
Finding time to do school is one of the hardest parts of my day, not only because of the 25 pound
attachment that I carry around all day, but also because who really wants to sit down and do
MORE work during their kid-free time? Probably no one. That being said, I do need to find time
to do it so I utilize any and all nap times or times where my youngest is playing by herself, even
if that means turning the computer back on for only 10 minutes.
If I’m being honest with myself,
I probably won’t end up doing much of anything with my degree once I’m finished. My husband
has made it abundantly clear that he would really prefer that I stayed home indefinitely because
he enjoys being the one that supports our family and would really prefer to never have to make a
meal again. I’m sure that once the girls are both in school full time, I will get something part time,
or maybe pick up a hobby that would allow me to provide some sort of financial contribution to
our family but, I don’t think that I’ll ever work a traditional 40 hour a week job.
12. Anything else you want to add?
Don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself! Being a full time mother is HARD work, you
deserve a reward for all of the work that you do. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like being a stay at home mom isn’t adding income to your house. I came across a breakdown of the monetary value of a stay at home mom recently and the final figures were over $100,000 per year. Here’s the link – you can put in your information and see exactly what your ‘salary’ is!