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Thursday, April 18, 2013

Dear 1-year-old Addisyn,

Dear Addisyn Rose,

It's hard to believe a whole year has gone by since you surprised us with sending me into labor the day before your scheduled C-section! I was so surprised you were coming that day. I was scared, as it wasn't as we had planned. Yet you were ready. And it's been like that for a year, such a sweet surprise, ready to take on the world.

I remember your birth story, so glad I documented it here

I kept repeating, "I have a daughter! It's a girl?!" 
So blessed to have one of each, after your brother.

My first thought when I saw you was, "She's perfect. She's mine." 
And it's been that way all year. From the first day in the hospital when we sent you to the nursery at night for an hour. I just wanted an hour to sleep, because it was my goal this time around to make sure I got the rest I needed. Well, you had other plans. You screamed in the nursery, woke the other babies up, and no nurse could console you. So they brought you back to me. Within seconds when placed in my arms you stopped crying and fell asleep. You've been a momma's girl ever since.

You were a champion nurser this year. You latched on within 10 minutes of being born! I was so sweetly surprised by that. Our connection this past year through nursing has been amazing. I'm so lucky I got to experience that with you, my little hungry caterpillar. I've told everyone that you made nursing easy. This was so special to me since it didn't work out that way with your brother. Knowing we did it, together, for a whole year, makes me so proud!

I swear you've been smiling since the beginning, too! 
Here you are two days old below.

And four weeks old...

And a year old... same silly, squinty eyes, scrunchy face smile - just like your mama.

I adore that smile. Everyone we see in stores, every family member who holds you and laughs at your giggle, everyone who comments on your pictures ... they all say the same thing, "What a happy baby, happiest girl ever!" We've heard that since you were teeny tiny. We've been so lucky.

We were a little afraid when we took you home from the hospital though, I have to admit. 
You screamed the entire way home. The second you were placed in the car you instantly started screaming. Really loud screams, tears, shaking, get me the hell out of here type of screaming. Screaming I had never heard before, because your brother was a kinda quiet guy in the beginning. I was terrified. We drove 30 minutes like that, with me on my knees, arching over to the back seat to try to sing to you, say your name over and over, consoling you without success. That hurt my C-section scar! But once we stopped the car and I put you in my arms, you stopped.

You just needed me. You remained that way for 6 weeks... we were a little nervous, wondering how long this would last, this needing to be close to us thing. If we put you in another room you would screech and make noises. If you were in the same room as us, not necessarily held, you were fine. You wanted to be part of everything from the start. I kept you in the carrier wearing on me for those first 6 weeks a lot, and beyond, but you just needed to be close to us early on, as if to feel a part of this big family you joined. I joked with people in the beginning, saying you had to get used to us - loud brother running around, loud dad talking, loud mama. We named you Diva from the beginning ... slightly demanding and loud with your wants, impatient at first, and all girl.

Once you got used to us and we got used to you, it was smooth sailing. 
Our new family of 4. You've definitely completed us, Addi Rose. You made me a mom to two. That is a huge deal! It was harder than I imagined at first, and has surprisingly gotten easier as you've grown bigger.

Thanks for teaching me that I'm a super strong mom, that I really can do anything this motherhood adventure throws at me. 

I had some low moments in the beginning of this with you, wondering how the heck I'd do this with two of you needing me all the time. Through it all, you were patient, and had a smile on your face every day. That is what helped me through this learning curve. You were the absolute perfect second baby ever. Hands down, I swear you'd win awards, little girl!

It's been fun dressing you up in pinks and purples - and yet also in browns, greens and yellows and blues from your brother's old clothes. I remember the first day in the hospital when your Memere showed up with bundles of pink clothes and frills and dresses. I told her, that's cute and all, but this little girl is going to wear Carhartts and John Deere, too, and get messy in the mud running after her brother. I pictured you growing up like our cousin's girl, who wears dresses and jewelry with camo shirts and baseball hats. Your brother has taught you well already.

Thanks for teaching your brother how to be a big bro, too. 
You certainly had some patience in that department. I think you've fallen and taken the brunt more than any baby I know just having an active toddler boy around! I hope when you're bigger you two are super close like you have been this year.

I love you, little one. 
I barely cried on your birthday like I did with your brother's first birthday. I think because now I know what's in store for us - even cooler, more fun and exciting moments than we've had this first year. Of course, a part of me is sad you're growing so fast. I literally never ever recall a year going by so fast as this first year with you. Yet I know that walking is coming and throwing sand and swimming and chasing after your brother. It's all coming and I can't wait for it to be here so I can laugh along with you.

Keep smiling, baby girl. 
Your smile makes everything light up, especially my heart. 


1 comment:

  1. My daughter is Addisyn Rose as well, perfect name for a sweet little girl! Enjoy her!