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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

sweats = great mom, not "that" mom.

So here's the thing about wearing sweats all the time... it's pretty much OK! It's acceptable. It's understandable. It's not a weird thing or something to look down upon.
Hi, I'm Angela, and I'm a mom who wears sweats often.

Sweats: noun, baggy T-shirts (often with logos from conferences or races I've run in the past or even high school);  running shorts with draw strings, always with draw strings; tank tops (some are even maternity still, 3 months post baby - hey, they are comfy and I have not had time to do the old switch-a-roo of the maternity to regular clothes in the closet yet!); and anything else just plain comfortable.

I'll say that I'm mostly this mom who wears sweats now because I had my baby in April, which led into the warm summer months of staying home over maternity leave. The days where I spend my time nursing, pumping, changing diapers, and chasing a toddler. All of which is NOT in the least bit glamorous. I don't even need to brush my teeth if I don't want to (OK of course I WANT to, but who the hell can remember if she did that on certain days!?!?).

We are not going anywhere most days. Some days all we're doing is meeting up with other moms who experienced the same lack of shower and busy morning as I did, and who most likely will be wearing some version of yoga pants or tank tops or sweats themselves. Or I'm off to a library story hour or to the beach or the store real quick... again, who cares what I'm wearing?!

Here's the thing about saying we won't ever turn into "that mom" who wears sweats all the time and "lets herself go" and doesn't do her hair anymore. I'm totally accepting of becoming this mom. I was a casual dresser anyway pre-babies taking over my time and life. It's not a bad thing to be comfortable, ladies!
And honestly, I'm glad to be this mom on most days. The mom who didn't have time to do her nails because she was cleaning up the playdoh "cake" that she and her son made together this morning while singing "happy birthday" to nobody in particular. The mom who didn't have time to take a shower this morning because she was cooing loudly back and forth with her infant daughter who has recently learned to "talk" back to her, which led to too much time "talking" and not enough time to shower before the toddler woke up and demanded his milk sippy cup.

Being a mom who does not dress up every day doesn't mean I'm better than the moms who DO dress up. Certainly not. In fact, they are my superheroes. But being a casual dressing mom who favors comfort over fashion DOES make me the mom I am right now, the one who is just trying to figure it all out now that I'm a new mom to two children. It makes me focused on what's important right now - accepting the fact that I'll be spit up on any minute anyway so why even try wearing something nice?!

I return to work full time in a few more weeks... and what scares the hell out of me is having to pick out outfits that one, fit my post-baby body, and two, are put together, like more than a T-shirt and shorts fits together. Things that match and are nice and not wrinkled and that need accessories like jewelry and hair done and shoes other than flip flops! Yikes.

I actually DO love to dress up. It's fun really to do my hair and nails and wear makeup other than concealer under my dark tired baggy eyes. It's great to be all matching and cute and have people say "oh you look great today!" I admit that I love that feeling and it does make me feel better.

But for now, I'm M-O-M, Mom, capital M on that these days. It's who I am and what I do, all day, every day. So I need to make it easier somehow. And wearing something really comfortable and easy to slip on and off every time I get spit up on or my son splashes me with mud or water outside or when I need to nurse or pump... well, so be it. 

I'm "that mom," most dread becoming back in the single days of oh-I-know-how-to-do-it-better-than-you-moms.  Sure. But I'm also that mom I always wanted to be. The one who doesn't care what others think, who puts her kids first before everything else, and the one who PLAYS, a lot! I like being "that mom." I'm really OK with it. And eventually I will get dressed again, I swear. For now though, I like my gym shorts, thank you very much. 

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