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Sunday, April 8, 2012

what's in a name?!

Yes, I am 38 weeks pregnant.
No, we do not have official names picked out.
Yes, you annoy me by looking shocked when I tell you we really just can't pick yet.


What's in a name anyway?!
Here's the thing... my husband and I are just different than most people. We did not want to find out the gender of our baby the first time or this second time around. We like surprises. We like the suspense and the guessing and the wondering. We have our reasons for not picking a baby name yet for #2. They are our reasons... that clearly just don't make sense to most people. That's OK, we understand why it's sorta weird. One would think after having 10 months to consider one of the biggest things in our life - naming a new child - we'd have narrowed it down a bit! Well, I guess we are weird then!

With our son, we went in with a few names. A couple names that we'd thrown around for 10 months but did not settle on until the night before my scheduled C-section. On the car ride to the hospital we were verifying with each other, "OK, so it's Cameron or Owen for a boy, right?" We said we needed to see the baby first. How could we name somebody we had never met or even looked at before? To us it didn't make sense or feel right. So, within seconds of my husband saying, "It's a boy!" and him holding my son down near me to see him, we both looked at each other and instantly said, "No way is this a Cameron, it's an Owen for sure!" We just knew.

My sister, on the other hand, and many others like her, named her son the second they found out they were pregnant practically. Or probably when they saw on the ultrasound it was a boy at 5 months pregnant. Atticus was an Atticus from that day on. It suits him, too, which is the strangest part.

This second time around, yes, we have names. We have a few we've talked about since the beginning. However, even those names we had leftover from our son that we have taken off the list for one reason or another. We are just very picky with names. My husband likes more traditional names. I like different names. I also work in a school where all school people can relate when I say it's challenging to consider certain names when associating that name with a particularly difficult child.

My husband is also one of those people who just does not plan or acknowledge what is going on until the last minute when it's about to hit him in the face, whereas I'm a planner, who plans everything months in advance. With our wedding, I had our rehearsal dinner clothes picked out and set aside all hung up and ironed at least 2 months before the big day, whereas my husband three days before our wedding told me he really did want a limo afterall and was planning to find one! It was the same way with our first son. I was so stressed out the whole time not having picked at least a few names as options, whereas my husband kept saying, "We've got time, let's wait and see what we think of."

So this time, knowing how different we are - and yet similar, too, in that we have to see the baby before naming it - I waited more patiently and did not get stressed about the fact that a solid name was not chosen yet.

We don't have solid names set in stone right now, even a week before baby is coming. Yes, we have ideas. Yes, we have pretty strong ideas and things we are leaning toward. Yet, we won't just come out and say, "Yup, this is it. This is the name." Mostly because we really feel we need to see baby first. But also because, quite honestly, we don't want the weird reactions to the name. We ourselves have the weird reactions when people tell us some names. We consider the name, wonder our opinion, maybe even speak out loud what we think about that name. There are those pauses or questions, "Huh, I've never heard that name before," or "Well, that's a good name I think." Which always leave you wondering, well do they really like this name or not? A few times we've thrown names out as "Yeah, we like this one," only to hear family say, "Oh... well no way, how about this one..." so we stop even suggesting names we possibly like! Whereas when the baby is born and there is a name attached to him or her, people would never say to you, "Well that's a weird name, where'd you get that name?"

A name for a child is a huge deal. It's something they will have forever. It's supposed to mean something. For these reasons and others that I guess don't make much sense, we take our time with it.

It makes total sense to me why people just know the name when they are 4 months pregnant, without knowing gender or what the baby looks like. I get that in my head, but it just doesn't work for me, that's all. I've had a name in my head that I dreamed about since I was 4 months pregnant that is still on the list, so I get it. However, we've had a name that we had as an idea for our son and then this whole pregnancy that we've recently just changed our mind about... so who knows!

But yes, to reassure you (and mostly my mother), we will have names when the baby is born. We have names now, just nothing we want to share as solid yet. We won't be leaving the hospital still unsure of what to name our child. We swear!

OK enough blogging. I have to break open the 100,000 Best Baby Names Book now!

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