share your stories and join in on the discussion on Facebook!

Friday, March 2, 2012

book - The Mother Trip

The Mother Trip - Hip Mama's Guide to Staying Sane in the Chaos of Motherhood by Ariel Gore

This was an interesting read. She wrote another book about Hip Mamas. What I liked about this book was it was all short stories about motherhood, the truth about the ups and downs of it all. She has a witty, honest way of saying it like it is, in a way that makes you feel better about whatever you were struggling with as a parent.

On page 20 the author wrote, "The world tells us all - in a thousand ways - that there is no margin of error in mothering. But I am here to tell you that there is a margin, and it is wide. Just as the occasional piece of chocolate cake can't make you fat, just as a few days off won't make you a lousy employee, blowing it as a mother every once in a while doesn't spell disaster for your kids' psyches. It simply doesn't.
"We are human beings, after all, and sometimes we have to roar. We may feel caught between the tides, caught between who we are and who we think we ought to be, but we can also be honest. We can offer our children the whole of who we are, 3:00 A.M. roaring and all.
"Take a moment to imagine the perfect mother. No, wait. Take a moment to look in the mirror. She is you. You are enough for your children, no matter what the choir says, no matter who you imagine you 'should' be, you are enough. Remember that."

It's also about taking care of ourselves.
On page 37 the author wrote, "We need time to ourselves, moments of awareness, connections, meaningful work. We need cheap art, good sex, nights at the bowling alley and days at the beach. We need good coffee, hearty meals, lush gardens, and time to relax and enjoy our lives without worrying so much about whether we are good enough mothers or skinny enough girlfriends or wives. We need to take care of ourselves so that we can mother our children soulfully and lead lives worth living."

After reading this paragraph I feel like taking a bubble bath and eating ice cream and putting my feet up!
On page 51, "We are taught that motherhood is a selfless profession, but I'm here to tell you that it doesn't have to be. We can loaf. We can meet our children's needs and fulfill our own desires. We can take care of ourselves - not just because our own comfort and happiness will make us better parents (although it will) - but because we deserve the same attention we give to our kids. We are worth the trouble."

On page 62, "System Error," is a hilarious but totally true story about all the crazy things that interfere with your day as a mom, little things that come up. At the end of this she wrote, "Take a seat. Take a breath. And let yourself laugh. This is how it is meant to be sometimes." I love this! It's so true. All we can do sometimes when our children are throwing the food we just made across the kitchen and splashing us big time in the tub and running through a library screaming... is LAUGH. What else can we do?

I like what the author wrote about not being able to do it perfectly, because there is no such thing. On page 63 she wrote, "As far as I'm concerned, there are only about three things we have to do for our kids: Nurture them in a child-friendly culture or subculture; give them appropriate limits and boundaries; and refuse to abandon them. Will following these three rules guarantee you ever-happy, problem-free children? No. There is no such thing as an ever-happy, problem-free person. If there were, she would probably die of boredom.
"We put everything we have into our kids, but they do not turn out predictably. They do not 'turn out' at all. They are human, always changing. We can't parent them in a totally controlled environment. When things go wrong in their lives, we can rarely pinpoint a precise cause and effect..."

This was a great book! It's all about empowering we moms to know that we ARE great moms and that yes it is OK that we take time out for ourselves. I think we all need this reminder.

1 comment:

  1. You might like this poem about mothers