Pregnant with baby #2 and not finding out the gender this time (didn't find out with our first son either) people around us seem so agitated by our decision to wait. Most people with our first were like, "oh that's sweet, good for you for being able to wait! it'll be fun!" This time, even grandparents are like, "oh come on, just find out already!" I won't pretend we aren't curious or that it's not difficult at times to keep it a surprise from ourselves. At the notorious 5-month appointment when we were finally allowed to find out the gender, it was extremely difficult not to peek at the ultrasound screen. Because I have a higher risk pregnancy with fibroids I go in for ultrasounds every month... so every month knowing we could find out if we wanted to is a challenge in the back of my head. Yet when outside of that ultrasound room both my husband and I do not want to know, genuinely don't care to find out, tell people we love the surprise at the end. We never cared to find out with our first son. Maybe knowing this time it could be the opposite of what we do have already is more exciting.
I say all this to let the others (the majority of people, really, both in my personal life and according to the ultrasound lady at my doctor's office) who do find out ahead of time what they are having that I have no judgment of them finding out. I say, as with absolutely everything in parenthood, to each his or her own! I would love for someone who did find out to write her own Top 10 list of why they wanted to find out the gender ahead of time just to give the other side.
For now, here are mine and my husband's opinions:
Top 10 Reasons We Are Waiting 9(10) Months to Find Out the Gender of our Baby:
10. We don't like all blue or pink baby things... which is what we've seen friends get at their showers when they know the gender. We happen to be fans of tan, yellow, blues and greens for girls or boys. It also helps for the second child to make sure we have some neutral colored things ready for him or her.
9. We don't feel we can name a baby before we meet it... therefore we don't want to tell the gender, then have the next question be what's the name instantly.
8. We don't want to share the name and get the awkward responses... "really, that's the name you're going with? how about this one?"
7. We like the guessing game that we and everyone around us plays for 9 months ("You are tiny and carrying low, must be a boy" and the next day from someone different, "You are really big and carrying high, must be a girl."
6. We like surprises. There aren't enough of them in life.
5. It's fun watching people around us get more stressed about not knowing the gender of our baby than we are!
4. What is there to plan? We don't understand the need to plan according to the gender, which is one reason so many friends tell us is why they chose to find out.
3. It's fun getting two sets of presents - one at the shower and another when baby is born. When guests don't know the gender at the shower they bring things you need - diapers, wipes, crib sheets, etc. instead of getting caught up in the gender items like pink frilly dresses or pajamas with trucks on them. Then when baby arrives, people get excited all over again and go for those awesome and adorable pink or blue items!
2. For us, it's simply more exciting to find out that a friend has had a boy or girl when for 9 months we've been guessing, than it is to find out at 5 months pregnant that it's a boy or girl but we have to wait another 5 months to meet it.
1. Nothing compares to that moment. Having not found out once before we know there is no other moment in our lives - including our wedding day - that can compare to that moment of the doctor (or in our case, my husband) yelling with excitement, "It's a boy!" The world seems to stop in that moment... and I don't know that it would be the same in an ultrasound room when it's just the parents and the ultrasound lady and a black and white image versus a team full of doctors and nurses who are smiling ear to ear and two parents whose patience has run its course and are tearing up seeing their little one for the first time, taking it all in that finally they know what that little kicker was for all those months in the belly. Nothing compares to it. It's simply worth the wait.