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Saturday, June 11, 2011

no such thing as perfect

There is absolutely NO room for perfection or even striving for perfection when it comes to parenting. You can only do your best. And "only" is a terrible word to use there, because doing your best is HUGE, really significant and amazing. Doing your best keeps your baby alive, happy, laughing, growing, learning and here on this planet. Doing your best is certainly enough and OK. The sooner you force yourself to believe this, the better off your relationship with your husband, your sanity and your overall life will be.

Here are a few of my trademark crazies to show you that nobody is perfect. These are some of the silly things I did in the name of NOT being perfect:

-given my son a banana in the shopping cart to keep him quiet while I finished grocery shopping.

-woken my sleeping baby at night to give him an antibiotic dose that I forgot to give him before he went to bed.

-left the house without makeup on or diapers in the bag or Owen's bottles of milk.

-had to use a too small diaper size on the baby because we ran out of the right size.

-waited another day to give him medicine for the first time because I was afraid he'd have an allergic reaction to it and we would not be able to get to the doctor in time.

-chose to be awake during a dental surgery because I had a completely irrational but very real fear that I would not wake up and would need to be here for my son.

-worn maternity clothes longer than probably is normal after baby was born because they fit just right and were the most comfy.

-driven in the car just to put him to sleep.

-stayed in the car at least an hour longer after getting home just so Owen would finish his nap - and went inside to grab the lap top so I could check emails while he slept silently in the back seat.

-forgotten to brush his teeth at night, several nights in a row even.

-sent him to daycare with clothes too small for him.

-said Owen needed a nap when really I just needed a break and could not attend one more party or event.

-silently enjoyed one of my son's sick days because it meant he slept a lot and I got tons done around the house.

-put my hand on his tiny chest and below his nose at least several times every night for weeks to make sure he was breathing.

-kicked my husband to get his butt out of bed instead of me for the tenth time in a row.

-left notes for my husband because things with my new baby needed to be done "just so."

-judged parents when I saw them with their child with a pacifier in the mouth at age 3 or older, then took it back when I realized it could be that difficult to take away a pacifier from a toddler.

-bumped my son's head several times by my own clumsiness.

-complained because Owen's milk was coming out too fast in his bottle the first few weeks of life so he was spitting it up a lot... only to hear from my sister-in-law that there are different size bottle nipples and I was using a 3 when I needed to be using a size 1! (nobody tells you this stuff before you have a baby! How was I supposed to know?!)

-fully accepted and even been grateful several times since my baby turned a month old that I was not able to breastfeed him and instead pumped his milk into bottles because one, I was very uncomfortable with the whole pulling out the girls in public, and two it was rather nice having all that help from his dad and other family members when it came time to sit and feed him every two hours.

Nobody's perfect. It's just the truth. Give yourself a break.

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