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Sunday, June 12, 2011

first steps

My baby boy is walking.
My baby is moving, on the go, getting on in the world by himself.
Well, OK so he's not much of a baby anymore. He's officially a member of toddler world now I suppose.

He took a few steps on his own last week, then four steps the other day, then today in the middle of a birthday party for a friend he just walked to the table toward a plate of chocolate and took about 10 steps. It was incredible and sort of surreal. I don't think I believed it. You wait and wait for these real moments, the actual for real, legit moment that your child has mastered something but also done it for the first time so you can write it in the baby book. Then it happens, just like that, before your eyes... and your baby is smiling at 6 weeks and rolling over at 4 months and crawling at 9 months and walking... It's crazy. How do they grow so fast?

I just texted two of my wonderful mommy support friends asking them if it's normal to feel the biggest sense of pride and at the same time deep sadness at the fact that my son is now mobile without my hands to hold on to. They both wrote back instantly saying, yes, of course it is! My friend Sarah said it's such a big accomplishment and yet it also means they are now a toddler, not a baby anymore. While I'm glad he's more independent, thus meaning I myself am more independent, I am truly sad that the time of his innocence and babyish ways are no longer and never again.

You will feel this, too eventually. I felt it immensely on Owen's first birthday, when I sobbed as I rocked him to sleep, just so utterly happy and sad that the first year was over. There are so many moments that make up your child's life and development and growth. You try your best not to miss a single one, so much that once they are happening before your eyes you don't want to blink for fear of missing a single second.

You also realize so many times throughout your child's life that these times will not come again, that your baby won't be a baby forever. These are the times that you wish you were a millionaire and could quit your job to stay home to watch your baby intently so as not to miss a single breath of change.

Babies are incredible. They are sweet and silly and simply blissful. You are in for the wildest, most amazing ride of your life. Enjoy every second of it. Don't blink your eye for a second. It certainly does go by way too fast.

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