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Sunday, June 26, 2011

book: 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know

This was an interesting read. I'll admit I didn't actually read every word, but rather skimmed it (who has time to read a long book these days?!). It was good though. 12 Simple Secrets Real Moms Know: Getting Back to Basics and Raising Happy Kids by Michele Borba, Ed.D. is about raising healthy, happy kids who are content in who they are, have strong self esteem and are of good character. It's also about not being a perfect parent, a notion I love and hope all moms can learn to live by. Being perfect as a parent is definitely an oxymoron. It does not and should not exist.
A few things I really liked in this book:

Pages 12 and 13 offers a list of what a real mom looks like. These things include:
"A real mom doesn't worry about what other moms are doing or saying."
"A real mom knows her children so well that she makes her parenting decisions based on their unique needs."
"A real mom has confidence in her maternal instinct and isn't pushed around by the latest pressures and trends."

Real moms...
"...have a life of their own."
"...let their kids wear the same clothes two days in a row."
"...give their kids pots and pans to play with."
"...aren't afraid to say no."
"...let their kids be bored."
"...admit when they're wrong."
"...know they're not perfect."

The author asks the question, how do you want to be remembered someday as a mom? I stopped at this part and thought a minute.

Here's what I've come up with for what type of mom I'd like to be remembered as:
good listener
playful and fun
let the little things go
easy going
always there
apologize when I'm wrong
imperfect, but great
focused, present, totally in the here and now
easy to talk to
make each day count
celebrate the important moments
say "I love you" every day
make him my priority

Those are good things to start with I guess! I think the most important thing I try to do with Owen every single day is to make it matter, spend quality time together, let the chores wait until after he's gone to bed, be focused and laughing and really there with him. I have never been so patient as I am with my son. He's made me slow down, take things in, breathe, and really just be here enjoying life.
How would you like to be remembered as a parent? What do you imagine your child will someday write to you in a Mother's Day card?

I also really liked in this book that the author suggested you ask yourself this question: "If my child had only my actions to watch today, what would he have learned?"
I really like this. Did my son see me exercise today therefore learning that it's good to take care of himself and be healthy? Did he hear me swear, therefore learning it's OK to use bad language? Did he see me cleaning and being a responsible person? Did he see me working too much and not having enough fun? It's something to think about...

Another idea to think about... what is your one wish for your family? If you could only come up with one single thing to grant to your children, something you can control yourself (so not related to financial status or health). What first comes to mind for me on this one is that my son is confident in himself or that he knows the right thing to do. I also hope he's a kind person and treats others how he wants to be treated, something I've lived by myself.

Overall, an interesting skim for me. It really did get me thinking about being a purposeful mother.

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