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Saturday, September 10, 2016

Mom of the Month - Tabitha Blanchard

CONGRATS to our September Mom of the Month Tabitha Blanchard, dedicated mama to two adorable children! She has great responses. Thanks, Tabitha!


                              


Images shared from Tabitha Blanchard


     Describe your children in 3-5 words. How did you choose their names? 
    Parker is strong willed, loving and outdoorsy. Reece is a momma’s girl, natural care giver and also strong willed. Parker I found in a baby book and was the first name my husband and I could agree on. For Reece we waited to find out the sex until birth and it was really hard to pick two names. We had our boy name but couldn’t agree on a girl name until after my due date. Finally we sat down and I said we weren’t sleeping until we made a decision.

How old are your children? 2 and 4. How did you tell people you were expecting a baby? 
Family we told in person. Facebook we did a photo announcement for Reece. For our first, Parker I found out on Father’s Day so I got Kyle (hubby) a Father’s day card to tell him.

How would you describe your pregnancies? How was delivery, birth and labor for you? 
I loved being pregnant. I felt great. I had morning sickness with both pregnancies up to 20 weeks but as soon as I was sick I felt better right after. I really enjoyed being pregnant. There are no more babies in our forseeable future but I am sad that I will never be pregnant again.

Describe yourself as a mom in 3-5 words: 
Patient, loving, relaxed, busy with a little crazy mixed in.

What type of mom do you hope your children think you were someday when they're old enough to tell you? 
Fair, kind, loving. That I enjoyed my time with them and appreciated their differences.

What things have you done as a mom that you're most proud of? 

I think just the everyday balancing of being a working mom of two, homeowner, wife and contributing to the community is something to be proud of.  

My husband works out of town a lot and sometimes just getting to Friday is a win! I guess in all seriousness what makes me most proud is when I see my kids being kind and helpful to others.

What have been the most difficult parts to being a mom? 
Trusting my instincts. Balancing a marriage, work, giving myself time and being the best mom I can. It is a constant work in progress.

What is your favorite baby/child product(s) that makes your mom job easier? 
We don’t have a lot of gadgets. Honestly, the BIGGEST life saver I had as my children got a little older wasn’t a product but a service. We decided for my sanity to invest in a house cleaner and it is one of the best things I have spent money on since becoming a mother.

What advice about being a mom would you give to a brand new mother? 

Trust your instincts; know that some days are going to be so hard but you will get through them. Enjoy the little moments and be kind to yourself – you won’t always get it right but as long as they know you love them and are trying your best that is all that counts.



What 5 things would you like to do with your kids someday, if anything were possible and money no object? 
Most everything involves some kind of travel like: Take a family vacation each year and travel (places like Ireland, the Grand Canyon, Paris), volunteer and give back to our community, spend a summer “off the grid” in a cabin without electricity, study abroad.

What are your favorite summer activities? 
Spending time at our family camp in Western Maine, visiting pick your own farms for strawberries, blueberries and other fruits and vegetables, spending time with friends and family by the water.

Tell us a time where you felt like you failed at parenting... but then realized you truly had not failed, things worked out fine. 
Breastfeeding. I tried and tried and tried again to breastfeed both of my children. My supply would never come in enough and both my children continued to lose weight instead of gain. For me, I felt like I was failing them somehow and that I wasn’t fulfilling my obligations as a mother. We ended up supplementing with formula and it was hard for me to let go of that feeling. The stigma attached to breast feeding didn’t make it any easier.  

What makes you a strong mom? What about me makes a strong mother? 
My calmness I think. I am usually pretty even headed and can get through a tantrum, a disagreement, a tearfest by showing compassion, listening and supporting my children. Not to say they always end that way but it is what works for my kids. I’ve learned the more worked up I get the harder it is to move past and resolve conflict or negative behaviors.




Monday, September 5, 2016

pregnancy after miscarriage - what helps to stay positive

This time last year I found out I was pregnant. I remember being ecstatic. I went for a run the day I told my husband and I literally was smiling as I jogged and felt how strong my body was, feeling like I could do anything, we could do anything in our family, everything was awesome, as they say in the Lego movie. Fast forward almost 8 weeks and I lost that pregnancy in miscarriage. Everything wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

And yet, a year later, I'm about to deliver my rainbow baby, another pregnancy, three weeks away from delivery day. We are blessed.

Yet this pregnancy after miscarriage has been really, really trying on my emotions. I struggled big time the first 6 months. I wrote about that on this blog (search label pregnancy after miscarriage). I had real anxiety this time, worried anything would make something go wrong.

The third trimester though, I dove in head first into this pregnancy, embracing it, making a conscious choice to stop worrying and freaking out. I was ruining my own experience before that. And the stress of that anxiety could not have been good for baby. So I chose at about 6 months along to be positive, to focus on the end goal of holding my baby, and to enjoy this pregnancy. I had to choose this though. It didn't come naturally. I had to force myself through the fears and instead say something positive to myself. Then eventually it came naturally.

This was NOT easy. But I pushed myself to do it. Just like when you're training for a 5k race, you just keep trying, through shin splints and through feeling like you can't breathe and sweating and injuries, you get up again and try to move forward because you know it's good for you. That's what I've done for almost 9 months now. And I'm heading toward the finish line now... and it's amazing and scary all at once, but more amazing.



Here are some things that have helped me to reach this point of enjoying my pregnancy after a miscarriage and staying positive:

  • Smile at the comments. I know this is hard for some women to do, but I found that when I embrace the comments of how my body and belly were growing, it made me feel better. It meant that the baby was thriving and I was doing a good job. It was like with every positive comment of adoration of my growing belly, people were forcing me to be positive, because if they saw it, if they knew the belly was growing, then I felt the baby was indeed OK.
  • Prepare the baby room. Let yourself get into that process. Look things up on Etsy. Make a registry list of items you want/need. Look on Pinterest for a theme. Really get into it. Each time you focus on the reality in front of you that a baby is coming and you're preparing for it, the less your anxiety will overpower you. Having something tangible to focus on, to picture, imagine, and really believe in helped me. Seeing the crib, sitting in the glider rocking chair, imagining holding my baby there, these things helped me focus on the prize at the end, not the insecurities of something going wrong. 
  • Come up with a mantra. For me, I find myself waking up in the last two months in the middle of the night saying to myself, "Dear God, please bless my body and my baby." I don't know where it started, but it's comforted me. So find something to tell yourself in those darker moments of fear. I also tell myself "More babies are born healthy than not. More women have healthy pregnancies that reach the end than do not. We can do this." Believing is half the battle.
  • TALK. Don't hold it in. Talk to someone about all the insecurities, fears, worries, stupid thoughts you may have. Don't keep it inside, that makes the stress worse. For me, my husband is my person. I told him every little thing and he encouraged me the whole way. I also had a couple of close friends I messaged and texted when I was down one day. Having their reassurance helped a lot. So find your person. I also asked more questions this pregnancy of my doctor. I asked silly things, but let myself ask those questions because it helped calm me down. 
  • Baby fetal heart rate monitor. This really helped me. I hesitated buying one of these in the beginning because I didn't want to freak out if I couldn't find the heartbeat one day, as an untrained professional. So I waited until probably 6 months along to get one of these and it's been a lifesaver since. I only use it a couple of times a week, but it calms me down instantly if I've had a day where I don't feel the baby move as much for a few hours or if I just want to hear the heartbeat to remind me that yes, life is growing in there, all is well. I highly recommend getting one, but not in the beginning where it's too small to hear and may worry you. 
  • Have your partner or a friend go with you to doctor's visits. I did this the first six months, every month ultrasounds, I couldn't handle alone. I did not want to be at the doctor's office and have them tell me bad news and me be alone. I couldn't handle that. So my husband lovingly went with me to everything in the beginning. Then around 6 months I realized I could do this, I was positive and focused and were were OK. I went alone, and I was so happy, proud of myself. I texted my husband, "I did it!" But if you never reach that point of going alone, it's OK. Whatever helps you through is OK. There is nothing irrational with pregnancy after miscarriage feelings. 
  • Take pictures. Document. I write in a journal every few weeks, even writing my worries. I take pictures all the time this pregnancy. I'm trying to show myself, see, you're growing. 
  • Slow down. For me, physically slowing down has also helped. I took a lot more naps this time around. I put my feet up, sat down to feel the baby move. I talked to the belly more, asking it, begging it to show me a sign that it was OK. It reassured me EVERY time. So take your time, cater to yourself, pamper your body, do whatever makes you feel physically stronger and better, so that you can emotionally get there, too. Deep breathing helped me a lot also.
  • Do what makes you feel comfortable. I had an irrational fear of feta cheese this time around. I ate Greek salads with feta the whole first trimester of my first two pregnancies, a huge craving. This time, it took me 8 months before I ate a salad with feta in it, and it was only once. This was one of those irrational fears about the feta causing an issue to the baby that I just indulged, I allowed it because it didn't make me crazy and it was an easy one to omit and control. So if you have little things like that, then just let it be OK. Whatever helps you feel reassured. I think it's about controlling some part of what is uncontrollable. 
  • Remind yourself of the truth. The truth for me was that I had gone through two healthy pregnancies, two healthy babies and deliveries before, so odds were I could do it again. I also had to tell myself, that every doctor's visit was positive and there were no worries on the doctor's face. My husband would tell me, "you're not a doctor, she is, listen to her, not your worries." 
  • Google sparingly. Googling random symptoms and worries = not helpful. Ask your doctor instead. But Googling weekly updates on pregnancy to reassure you that you're fine is helpful actually. I did this every week this pregnancy, reading all about the new things my body was doing, what I was growing inside, how the baby was developing. It made me feel at peace, at ease, like all was OK. 
  • Go shopping for the future. I found that when I purchased baby clothes, like a Christmas outfit, it made me focus on the future in a positive way. Like, of course this pregnancy would be OK, of course I'd deliver a baby, of course we'd make it months to Christmas. I also bought a larger size black skirt to wear on the first day of school when I went back to work after summer. I bought this skirt when I was still wearing size small maternity clothes. I bought it in anticipation of being at the end of the pregnancy. I had to focus on the future, being positive that we'd get there. That's hard to do in a pregnancy after miscarriage. But it helped me a lot. 



It's not easy being pregnant after you've lost something so precious already once before, after you realize all the bad things that could happen or go wrong. It's so hard to stay positive. I get that. There will be a fear in the back of my mind until this baby is on the outside and in my arms. But you CAN reach a point where you're calmer, more positive, and facing the future with open arms instead of fears.

Thinking of you, moms, anyone who has gone through this before. Stay strong. You WILL get there.

Breathe.







Sunday, August 28, 2016

Dear 9 Months Pregnant Body,

Dear Me, as I approach my 9th month of my very last pregnancy,

It's been a wild ride, hasn't it, dear old uterus, belly and body? You and me, all the things we've been through together while carrying life inside us. It's pretty awesome actually. You've helped me bring two beautiful, healthy babies into the world already. And here we are, approaching the 9th month of pregnancy again.

But this time it's the last time. The bittersweet taste of this being my last baby is starting to hit me. 

It's been there the whole time, these last 34 weeks or so, and yet now that it's almost here, that final day where I'll deliver a baby and be done with pregnancy forever, it's hitting me. The finality and sadness of some of it, despite how happy and ready I am to reach that finish line.

I'm realizing how far I've come from that first pink line I saw, and the breath I held for a moment hoping and praying the second line came on the pregnancy test. Wow, that feels lightyears ago. I am realizing I've overcome the worries and fears, for the most part. I've survived the ultrasounds where I closed my eyes tight, wishing and hoping all to be OK when I opened them again. I've taken the multivitamins every single night and I've drank enough Ginger Ale to sink a battle ship during those nauseating weeks, months in the beginning. I've read the What to Expect book and Googled every single week wondering what was happening in my body that week during pregnancy.


And now here we are. My strong-willed body has done it again. We've grown a baby. We've created life and kept it going in there. It's nothing short of a miracle. Three kids now, and I realize this to be true each and every time. I'm so blessed and I know this. 

This being the very last time, our last baby, my last time pregnant, I'm realizing even more how incredible my body is. It's allowed me to keep this baby safe. It's let this baby thrive and kick and move for almost nine months now. And I'm thankful. So thankful.

So now that I approach the hardest part of pregnancy, the part where you're more exhausted than ever before because you're so unbelievably tired, unable to get comfortable at night, switching positions a thousand times, I'm realizing that I need to savor some of these tough moments because they will pass quickly and they won't come again.

Despite the swelling and the heartburn (damn freaking heartburn!), despite the fact that I have to sit and catch my breath after taking a shower or the fact that sometimes I need help putting shoes on or reaching my shorts on the ground to pull them up... I know I'm lucky to be going through this pregnancy. Despite that I can't eat as much because I feel full with the belly up near my neck it seems like, and despite that nothing seems to fit anymore because my belly just hangs out of all shirts and skirts are getting super tight around the middle these days... I know this is an amazing thing.

So as I approach these last few weeks of my final pregnancy, I hope I remember to relish in the beautiful parts. I hope I stop to rest more, put my feet up and not just do it because I don't want swollen ankles but do it because I CAN and should and because it affords me the opportunity to appreciate my body for what it's doing. 

I hope that I memorize the way it feels to be kicked and jabbed, even when it's in the middle of the night and I'm so seriously tired. I hope I stop to appreciate those movements because I'll never have that feeling again. There is no greater feeling, truly.

I hope I take deep breaths when I see some stretch marks appearing or when my eyes are dark from lack of sleep or when I step on the scale at the doctor's office and I've surpassed that stupid weight gain recommendation some random person who maybe has never been pregnant came up with.

I hope I take a breath and realize it's OK, I've done a great job, my body is amazing, and we're growing a life. Despite the aches and pains, that's what matters. 

A life is growing because of my body and because of my patience and strength. There is nothing greater than that. I hope I remember that, even when I want to cry I'm so worried about the upcoming delivery or how I'm going to survive sleepless nights again or how it'll be to recover physically from a C-section again with two busy kids in tow.

So Dear Me, the one who is approaching the last stretch in this last pregnancy, remember that even though it is not easy most moments, it's worth it. Remember what it feels like to carry this life, to know the purpose you are here for right now, and remember that all great things come with trials that make it oh so worth it in the end.

I'm not saying I won't complain these next few weeks. I'm human. I despise sciatic hip pain. I can barely get out of bed physically sometimes, it's such a chore.

But I'm going to try to enjoy the moments that are to be enjoyed and take deep breaths to let go of the difficulties of not feeling right in my body. Because it's the last time. And I'll miss this someday. 

I may not miss heartburn, but I'll miss the reason I had heartburn. I may not miss not being able to shave my legs easily, but I'll miss that it was because my belly was so large with this growing baby in it that I couldn't reach. I won't miss how I'm out of breath, but I'll miss the moments that have taken my breath away in a different sense - like when I've heard the heartbeat on the doppler or when I've seen the squirmy gummy bear figure on the ultrasound just moving away or when I've felt that first flutter and then large jabs in my belly.

I will miss this. I will. But I'm forever grateful for what my body has done and given to me the last almost nine months.

So Dear Me at the end of pregnancy, just breathe, take a seat, and prepare to be wowed one last time by all that you can do - the hard parts and all, it's all incredibly worth it.

Love,
Your tired pregnant self















Sunday, August 14, 2016

Dear Mom of an Almost Kindergartener,

Dear Mom of an Almost Kindergartener,

I know what you're going through. I was you just last year. I was crying most of last summer, tears welling up in my eyes at random moments when I'd realize my son was going to leave me. I work full time, always have since my son was born, so it's not like he's been home with me, and yet I still felt last year like he was leaving me, like I was losing a part of him to this big elementary school I felt I knew nothing about.

I was scared last year. I was afraid of what would happen if he misbehaved or didn't listen or couldn't sit still. I really did NOT think he'd sit still and learn like he should. I was afraid they would not understand his needs or what worked best for my son. I was afraid of school shootings even... which was a crazy fear, I knew, but hearing too much in the news worried me, I admit it.

I was nervous about him being picked on by other kids. I was afraid he would not make friends. I was worried he'd be the one picking on others.



I wasn't sure if I could trust the teacher or staff or building to keep him safe. I wondered how on earth he'd behave on the big playground where they cannot possibly watch them every second. If we had to do the bus thing I'd have worried about who he'd sit with and not being buckled in and staying in his seat, too. I'd have totally followed the bus to school every day for two weeks if we did the bus thing.

I was nervous about my son not having lunch until way too late in my opinion (closer to 1 p.m.!). I'm not kidding, this one sent me over an edge last summer wondering how he'd misbehave being SO hungry for so long. I wondered if he'd forget all this things from his backpack, if we'd bought the right backpack or the correct size snack bag.

I was afraid I'd hear nothing. I wouldn't know what was going on every day like I got with a daily update at daycare and then preschool the last few years prior to Kindergarten. I wanted to know, was my boy OK? Did he need me?

I was so worried. I didn't know what to expect.


And then the day came. The first day of school for my new kindergartener. I was so nervous. I had a pit in my stomach, trying to stay positive and smiley and happy for my big boy, so that he wasn't super nervous like I was.

And I cried. Sobbed. I was sad most of the day. Just wondering... He's my first. It's hard when it's your first and you have no clue what to expect.

Until I picked my son up after school, after racing out of work to go get him and hear his stories. We stayed in the parking lot for 15 minutes just talking, he would not stop, he was firing things out of his mouth that he LOVED about his first day. I stayed on the side of his car seat door, holding his hand, grateful to have him back with me, and hanging on to every single word he said. I wanted so badly to videotape this moment, but didn't want to mess it up by taking my eyes off of him. I'll forever remember this moment. Forever. He was SOOOO happy and proud and excited. Sheer excitement. I've never seen him so interested in something before in his life. It was amazing.

I realized then and there that if HE was OK and psyched, I'd be fine, too.

(Note: To those of you who have had your littles home with you for years and are worried about your shy one, I know several close friends whose kids in these situations were actually nervous for Kindergarten, even having to drag them in crying to school... BUT this lasted a day or two, and they were totally great after that. So, if this is your situation, I need to share this honesty with you, but reassure you it doesn't last long. Promise.)


So, Mom of an Almost Kindergartener, I'm thinking of you. I have been there. I was ridiculous last summer with my questions for other moms who had gone through this. I wrote tons about it on my blog, too, how we prepared for Kindergarten and things I felt. I remember this like it was yesterday.

And yet looking back, I realize as normal as it was how I felt, I wish I hadn't wasted all those moments worrying so much. My son's year in Kindergarten could not have gone better. He had the perfect teacher who totally understood him and praised him and told us how great he was and taught him to read! He had fun. He was invited to more birthday parties than I could have imagined, made tons of friends, which meant I made friends, too, with parents who felt the SAME way I did and who had the same questions I had and who even had some answers for me also.

He learned SO much. Math, counting, adding and letters and writing and reading. He wrote real books! Real books! He can climb the monkey bars and was safe on the playground. He didn't get crazy overtired. He didn't starve daily either with a late lunch. He adjusted. He learned to grow and stretch his wings. He flew... and he came right back to me every day at 3 o'clock. He didn't leave me. He still needed me. Every day he needed me. And your little guy or gal will, too, promise.



I thought Kindergarten, public school, would change my boy, make him grow up too fast, make him more independent and not need me as much. This is true. He grew SO much more than I anticipated. But all good ways. He became more patient, more responsible, more hard working. He was a better friend. He shared more. He learned more. It was awesome.

And yet, he was my little boy. He played with Legos. He wanted to snuggle with me to read his new library books he got every week at school. He couldn't wait to share with me his drawings of snowmen and tractors and of me and dad. He saved a cookie for his sister from his Valentine's Day party at school. He loves to dress up like a fireman and Superman. He still needs help tying his shoes and packing his backpack and he still looks little in that huge backpack. He still needed us, and your little one will, too.

The new things he'll learn to do, you'll be amazed by. The things she comes home to teach you or tell you about learning that day in music or pe class, you're going to smile so big. You won't be sad. You'll realize this is all what it's about- them learning to be these awesome people, to show us what they can do and make of themselves.


What helped me with adjusting to Kindergarten may not help you. Our kids are different. But I promise you, you'll both get through this. For me, it helped emailing the teacher ahead of time, sharing some important things with her about my son. She must get these emails because she smiled and encouraged me. It helped visiting Open House to see the classroom. It was great to spend time at the playground ahead of the fall, all summer, visiting and talking about it with my son. It was fun letting him pick out what to put in his backpack, what to pack for snacks, what type of lunch bag he wanted to take. He got excited with every step toward Kindergarten, which made me do the same.

It really helped spending time in the school, getting to know staff and parents and kids and seeing the place he was all day. It made me feel comfortable.

It was great realizing I wasn't the only one. Every other parent was new to this, too, even those who had older kids seemed new to this and a little nervous the first few days. Talk to people. Get to know them. Ask questions. It's good to connect. Attend a PTO meeting if you can. It's a good resource.


You aren't alone in how you feel. It's OK to be worried, anxious, scared, even upset that your little one is heading off to the big K. I get it. It's OK to have a zillion questions about how you're both going to get through this.

Have patience with yourself. You will get through this and it's going to be GREAT. More than great. I promise. You'll see this soon. In the meantime, cry, hold her a little tighter, spend some time together one on one with him if you want. Relish this time together. And then prepare yourself for a difficult first day, full of tears and excitement. And then rush to school to pick him up and embrace him, and just soak it all in. Listen to her and hear how great it was and what she learned. And if he's crying or sad about leaving you, do what you've done since he was born and encourage him, support him, and lead him the way there, because you know it's right, it's good and it's what is going to be the stepping stone to him becoming who he's supposed to be someday... this awesome kid that YOU got to this point of being ready for Kindergarten and learning and growth.

You can do this, Momma. I promise you can.

Love,
A fellow mom, sending her first grader to school this year, crazy how time flies





keeping up with summer learning

Summer is a time for fun in the sun! I love that part about summer. But now that I have a kiddo in elementary school (and because I know how important it is from working in a school myself) I realize  that we need to keep some learning happening in these awesome summer months.

There is a thing the educators refer to as the "summer slide." It's proven that kids LOSE what they learned from last year in school if you don't keep them reading, writing, doing math, and overall learning in the summer. They can slide back a few reading levels. It's not fair! What works is just keeping them active in the routine of doing some school type work. It doesn't even have to be tons, but keeping them practicing what they learned and pushing a little forward helps keep them ready and active for the fall when they need to be ON for hours a day.


Here are some ideas for helping your little one continue with learning in the summer months:

  • READ READ READ- There are a thousand ways to get reading in during the summer time. A few ideas:
    • Sign up for the Barnes and Noble reading program (they read 5 books, write down the titles, visit the store to pick out a NEW book for FREE)! Easy and good incentive.
    • Sign up for your local library's summer reading program. My kids do this every summer, for FREE. It's so easy and they love it. They earn prizes weekly for reading in the summer. They earned free Subway food gift cards and Sea Dogs baseball game tickets, too. Check it out! 
    • Attend summer reading programs at the library. They always have reading story hours that are short, sweet and interactive and count as reading for your kiddos. 
    • Pick out books at the library. 
    • Visit book stores. 
    • Attend used book sales at libraries- just about every library around does this, and it's SO fun to see your kiddo getting excited about picking out a new book.
    • Make up stories together at night before bed - you start the story and have your child add to it. It's like reading. 
    • Go back through your book shelf. Pick out favorite books and books to donate, but read them all before they head out. 
    • I saved all the little paper books my son's Kindergarten teacher sent home this spring so we could re-read them in the summer. I'm so glad I thought to do this in May so we'd have some to keep around, at my son's level. It's been GREAT practice. 
    • Find words when you're out and about- at the store, driving (Stop signs, etc.), at the movies, etc. Ask your child to spell them out and talk about them. 
    • Give them books to occupy them on long car rides.
    • Get some Apps for those iPads that help them with reading and figuring out letters. 
    • Give them new magnetic alphabet letters to work with on the fridge while you're cooking.
  • DON'T FORGET MATH!
    • Measure things when cooking.
    • Count cucumbers at the farm stand
    • Line up rocks and toss them in the water while counting. 
    • When driving ask your kids to count to 10, 20, 100.
    • Get flash cards to count items. 
    • Count using Legos.
  • RESOURCES - Target dollar bin has tons of workbooks that I've used the last few summers. They have great pages that help my son do writing, reading, math numbers, etc. And I'm not a teacher, so these help me in knowing what he should be doing. There are great flash cards to make it more like a game. There are white boards to give them a more creative way of learning to write letters or do math. Dollar Tree has great workbooks also. 
  • ROUTINE & FLEXIBILITY - It's helped us to try to do it routinely as part of our morning time. I don't do it daily, but strive to during the week. We eat breakfast, brush teeth, then sit back down for a short time of school work (no more than 30 minutes is what I can get out of a 4 and 6 year old, and the 4 year old it's really just for fun to do what her brother is doing, tracing letters, etc.). It's easy for them to expect it if it's the same type of time/routine each time you do it. But also have flexibility. There are mornings where we're heading to the beach and I'm making lunches and we're crunched for time to go do something fun, so it's all good to skip it. Just try to do it more than you don't do it. 
  • OUTSIDE LEARNING- Remember the BEST learning happens out of the house or classroom - where they are LEARNING real things they will use. Remember to go for hikes or nature walks, do experiments or let them explore new areas, learn to swim or bike or build something outside. My son is all into catching bugs this summer. So we could then go to the library and get books about bugs to make it interesting. It doesn't all have to be pen and paper. 


The biggest suggestion I have heard is DON'T get too into the summer school work and learning that you forget that you're supposed to give the kids a break in the summer. They need time off, so do you, and that's GOOD and OK. Just remember to keep some learning happening so that they don't get totally off the school track.

I've noticed even more things beyond math and reading skills happening with my son this summer. For him, it's about reminding him how to sit still at the table, listen to directions, pay attention to something kinda boring for a while, and to keep trying even when he doesn't get it... all skills he'll use on day one in first grade this fall. It's about patience and working hard, responsibility and growing.

So getting them in the routine of working hard this summer to keep it up from what the teachers did so well last year, it's a great way to set them up for the fall's learning that will happen.

Happy learning!


more summer pregnancy survival tips

This whole pregnant in the summer thing is a whole new ball game, I tell people. It's nothing like when I had the first trimester in the summer with my first February due date baby or when I got pregnant in August so went right into the fall with morning sickness. No, this third trimester starting in June all the way through September is a crazy freaking ride, that's for sure. It's HOT. I mean HOT. I'm serious, I've never sweat so much in my life. It's nuts.

And yet I tell people I can't complain much since I've spent most of my summer near cool water and with ocean breezes, working only once a week typically in the summer since I work in a school. To the third trimester summer mommas who work every day out of the house, man, I am sending you popsicles or something.

Regardless of what you do or where you are in the summer during the third trimester, it's hot and it's difficult, more difficult than the winter pregnancies, I'd say. In the winter, I was nervous about falling on ice and snow. The large sweaters and pants were hard to put on and off daily, as were shoes with swollen feet. But other than that, winter pregnancy was far easier than this summer thing.


Here are some real tips to help you survive and keep your cool during the last trimester in the heat: 

  • SWIM SUIT - Get a comfortable and cute bathing suit because you will live in it. Not kidding. Something that doesn't bug you or feel uncomfortable. Something that holds the top in and grows with you as you grow. In fact, get a few different size tops if you must, so you're ready for whatever size you become. Get something that makes you feel good about yourself, too, because we know that as we grow sometimes we are uncomfortable with our body image.... and in the summer it's ALL out there and not covered by big sweaters. So enjoy it with a cute suit. 
  • GO FOR COMFORT - When shopping for summer clothing, look for comfort versus just style. Granted, we're lucky these days, the comfy things are also super adorable to wear now, thankfully! I got some awesome tank tops at Old Navy that I've lived in this summer. I found some regular Nike shorts and just bought them in a larger size, sports shorts have been my lifesaver this summer, they're so comfortable, especially when heading out with the kids. Big flowing dresses are great and keep you cool, too. It's all about staying cooler.
  • RESTROOMS ONLY - This is something I've realized is super important - only go places where there are bathrooms. You remember the third trimester right? When it's all pushing on your bladder? Yeah, not fun. Now times that by 100 in the summer, because that's how much MORE water you're drinking in the summer to stay hydrated so you're peeing even more... so, you need to stick by lakes and oceans with bathrooms. It makes life easier.
  • HYDRATE - It's so important in pregnancy to drink enough water, but in the summer time t's even more of a necessity. I made sure I had plenty of larger water bottles with me. It's important to take one or two with you everywhere you go. For me, when I knew I was going to the beach or outside all day I'd make sure I drank at least 3 huge glasses of water before I even left the house, enough time to use the bathroom and feel like I started the day hydrated. On really hot days, it was helpful to drink some Vitamin Waters to nourish myself with vitamins that were needed when we were dehydrating. Hydration is important for keeping the swelling down, which happens more in the summer time, too, as well as avoiding contractions and early labor issues. Go buy yourself a fancy new water bottle to help yourself feel cool.
  • EAT LIGHT - Regardless of pregnancy, in the summer there are hot days where we don't feel quite like eating our normal meals. It's too hot to cook! I don't think I've made more than like 5 meals all summer. I'm not kidding (thank you husband and take out restaurants!). So eat lighter items like salads, sandwiches, fruit, smoothies, watermelon, popsicles, and even cereal. I've had tons of cereal for dinner this summer because it was all I wanted. Pasta salad is a great alternative too. It's OK to avoid cooking, too. Go out to eat more, it's all good, just make healthy choices while there. Snack frequently so you don't have to sit for a big meal that makes you hotter.
  • INDULGE - Ice cream is your friend, and it's OK to indulge this summer while pregnant. I've had a fair amount of ice cream this summer. At night I crave something icy cold so I've tried some fruity organic popsicle things that are actually ok for you instead of more sugary ice cream. But when I'm out and about and sweating, yes, ice cream is a great thing! When else can you really indulge like this? Baby likes it. 
  • REST - In the summer we swell normally, even when not pregnant. So while pregnant on hot days, it's important to get your rest. Take naps if you can. Definitely put your feet up more to decrease natural heat swelling. I do this each night, take a cool shower and then lotion up my belly and feet and lay down with feet raised. It's a good time to just take a load off. 
  • SUNBLOCK - You are susceptible to different burns and the sun affecting you in different ways when pregnant, so make sure you always have sunblock on and with you to reapply. Especially if you already have kids, this is really important to make sure you remember. Put it on BEFORE you leave the house, otherwise you'll forget, busy watching the kiddos. 
  • HIT THE SHADE - Because we overheat while pregnant (I heard that pregnant women feel things 10 degrees HOTTER than what the temperature is for everyone else, yikes!) it's important to stay more in the shade in the summer than in the sunshine. Bring a big sun hat, sit under a tree for shade, and get some umbrellas to keep you a little cooler. Also, I've noticed some skin pigmentation on my face this summer from the sun and being pregnant, it doesn't mix well for skin sometimes I guess and it makes these weird blotches on your face. A hat and more sunscreen helps this.
  • SLOW DOWN - You already know that while in the third trimester you aren't running any marathons. You have to slow down physically without it even being a choice since you're carrying more weight, feeling lightheaded sometimes, perhaps blood pressure concerns, etc. In the summer, I feel like you need to slow down even more because of all the heat around you and in your body. So just walk a little slower. Get comfy shoes and try your best to do what you want to do, but with taking smaller steps and giving yourself more time to get there.
  • GET OUT EARLY - Back in June when I was only like 6 months pregnant I knew I wanted to do all the fun outdoor amusement park type activities with my kids early on in the summer before I got too tired, big and hot to do them later in the summer. Man, am I glad we did that! We went to a water park and to Story Land and all kinds of activities earlier in the summer. By the end of July I could feel myself needing to slow down physically, being way too hot and getting crabby and having stomach issues if I were out in the sun too long. So my advice is to get outside early in the morning for fun activities. Try to avoid being at the beach past noon, morning is much cooler and the sun is less dangerous then and you can head home for an afternoon rest perhaps. Also, earlier in the season is best. It's less hot in June than it is in August typically, so if you're planning a trip or camping or an amusement park day head out in early July versus late August if you can. 
  • SWEATY- Yup, it's just a fact of life for all of us in the summer, but specifically us who are large and pregnant. Just pack deodorant with you in the summer. I never need to take it with me otherwise, but this summer I notice I'm sweating more and so it is a must-have in my purse. It's all good.
  • STAY INSIDE - On those really hot days, it's OK to take a day off and stay indoors. Indulge in TV and AC, or get some nesting done around the house in the cool air instead of heading outside. 
  • AC- Mine have been turned on and full blast since like May, I swear. And you know what, that's OK. I've never and never will again run the ACs like I have this summer. I know it's not great for the world and electricity or my bill... but this summer, it's all good and we are needing to do this, keep the momma bear cool. My poor husband has a cold and sleeps with a winter blanket on his side of the bed... but I'm all nice and cool with the air conditioner!


Granted it's not all that bad when you're pregnant and near the end of the process in the summer. It's good to remember some of the good things, too.

Here are my FAVORITE parts about being pregnant in the summer:

  • FLIP FLOPS- OH MY WORD amazing! I cannot imagine being pregnant again and having to wear real shoes, especially near the end. Wearing flip flops since like 5 months pregnant until the end... that's a DREAM COME TRUE. No tying shoes. No buying another size bigger shoe because you're stretching out your typical shoes. No squeezing into boots. It's amazing. I LOVE flip flops. 
  • CUTE CLOTHES- I am loving the flowy dresses and simple outfits of summer. Tank top and shorts, voila, and I'm ready. Versus in the winter, it's like a tank top or t-shirt underneath a big sweater and larger pants with the huge belly covering thing, and socks and shoes and ... it's just easier to get dressed in the summer. Also, the skirts and dresses are SO cute these days. 
  • SHORT-LIVED - Remember that if you're pregnant in the summer, it's only a few months, promise. It'll be over before you know it, whereas winter is a bit longer and if you don't like winter that can be hard. 
  • WATER - I can live in water if I want to this summer. I put my beach chair in the ocean sometimes! I love that I can get out somewhere to get cool if I want to. It's perfect. 
The very best thing about being pregnant in the summer is realizing other women get it, they will support and encourage you and empathize with what you're going through. I've had SO many women this summer look at me with a smile, while I'm HOT and large and outdoors with my kids at the park or playground or store or beach and they stop me and smile and say "I get it, I was there, too, I'm with you, sister, hang in there, it's almost over, you can do this" or "How are you holding up in this heat? I'm thinking of you." It's incredible. Like countless women have said this to me, at least 10 strangers have stopped me to say this. It's wonderful. It's like this camaraderie that I didn't know existed among moms. I love being a part of that. They are saying to me: "You have every right to complain if you want about this heat, cause it sucks and you're big and tired and it's OK to complain. You can do it though, we did it, I've been there, and I know. But I also know it ends and you won't be hot forever and big forever. Keep up the good work, Momma." I loooove this. Women are super kind and supportive. So when you get these looks from moms in the summer, know they mean well and are supporting you and rooting you on. Say thanks and smile and appreciate their encouragement. 


Stay cool, moms! You CAN do this :)



Dear 6 1/2 year old Owen,

Dear Owen who is now 6.5,
You are at the best age ever right now. People told me 6 was awesome, and they were right. You are all hilarious, coming up with big words you heard somewhere and coming up with things to say to us that just astound us. You are SO smart. Like really smart. And we are amazed by it all the time. Kindergarten was the best thing in the world for you. I was so nervous sending you, and yet I found within two days you were so happy there, loving every second, soaking up all the great things you could learn there. It was awesome hearing about your days. We are so proud of you.


You love math. You can whip through several pages without flinching. It's so cool to see, especially since I've never been great at math. Seeing you loving school is the best thing I've seen this year with you. You LOVE it. You run into the building and can't wait to get started. I LOVE that and hope so much that we can continue that excitement for years to come. You read to us now, too. It's awesome. The best thing I've ever heard is your voice sounding out letters and words. It's astonishing how fast you picked up the language. Wow. My big growing boy.

You build crazy amazing things out of Legos. Every time you ask me to come see what you made, I put down what I'm doing, knowing it's important to you and also that you have made this awesome thing I just HAVE to see. I love it. Again, mostly because Legos weren't my thing. I can't create anything to save my life. But you, this little 6 year old body (excuse me, 6 and a Half) can do the coolest things with just a box of colored blocks. It's so great. I love this phase.


Your favorite food is still of course ice cream, and chips. You loooooove peanut butter sandwiches most of all, as in you could eat them daily. And you practically did all Kindergarten school year- peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (you complained about the jelly, not understanding why they can't just give you peanut butter like we do at home!) with chocolate milk ("No, Mom I didn't get too hyper with the sugar in the chocolate milk!" you'd tell me when I'd roll my eyes about another chocolate milk experience I could not control.). 

You learned SO much at soccer, basketball (your best sport! love it!) and baseball this year. It was light years improvement from last year, so focused and able to do these awesome things in the games. We're so proud of how big you are and what you're learning to do. 


You are still obsessed with tractors and trucks, John Deere and sand. You dig in the sandbox every chance you get at home. You bring trucks to the beach with you. You make me feel still like despite how tall you are (off the charts, still, and people think you're like 9 years old, wearing size 8/10 clothing!) that you are still my little boy in that big boy body. It makes me stop and memorize what you are doing and playing with, because I know someday you won't be this small and playing with trucks. I told Dad the other day that the moment you stop pushing trucks around my kitchen and living room is the day I'll cry realizing you're too grown up. Hopefully that's a long ways away. I love your creativity and interest in all things that move.

You are a mover and it's the best thing about you. You always keep going forward, looking for the next thing to create and believe in. I love that about you.


I love how goofy you are. I love that you've lost 3 teeth and can't speak the same anymore, it's the cutest thing in the world. Your smile lights up my world, still, 6 1/2 years later. It always has. I love that every night you ask me to tell you a Once Upon A Time Story. We make things up about pirates and sports and tractors and dragons and castles and tractors. It's so fun. We've been reading Roald Dahl books together... that's my favorite time. The Twits was our first and it was hilarious. You snuggle up to me like we did when you were a baby with bed time stories. I love that. I hope that never changes. 

You talk about our baby all the time. You can't wait to be a big brother again. You drive your sister nuts, but then you are best buds and looking out for each other all the time, too, so it's great. It makes me really happy. 

You're doing awesome, Pal. We are really proud of you. Keep growing... I can't wait to see what you (we) learn in first grade this year!

Love, Mama